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Thomas Butler Gunn Diaries: Volume 2, page 59, March 6-8, 1851

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Identifier: DX09944033

Title: Thomas Butler Gunn Diaries: Volume 2, page 59, March 6-8, 1851

Description: Comments on the end of his relationship with Mary Bilton.


during the evening at Steward Sanchez yesterday learnt that the “Henry Hudson” had arrived, so this morning going thither he returned with a letter from his brother Will [Sanchez], divers prints and pictures; a “Punch,” a Banbury Guardian (with a Sonnet of George [Bolton]’s in’t, and a big tin can containing a mince pie and unlimited ginger-cakes, for me, (the latter being a present from our servant Alice.) A letter in’t from my Mother [Naomi Butler Gunn], also a Christmas Carol from Rosa. / [William] Barth called. Evening Homer Hall, Cross and Bradley whist playing.

7. Friday. Drawing [John N.] Genin’s caps. Mr John’s called in the afternoon. Evening drawing and converse for a time with Cross and Bradley. / All this worries and wearies me to the last degree. I am lonely, heartsick and melancholic to the last degree. I feel as though I had naught to live for now, naught to hope; as though all was over now.

I think of her [Mary Bilton] now with a blind, impatient despairing sorrow, as though she were transformed to another creature. The Ghost of my past Love haunts me. I can now, sitting here, alone, (save for the scratch of Alf Waud’s pen) conjure up, the “Office” at Kings Road with all its minute detail, her face, her dress, her looks and words, my own hopes and jealousies; all — with a strange sort of pity and sympathy for my boy-self as though I were another person. Oh [word crossed out], I did love her most dearly, [words crossed out]. All over. — Never More, Never More!

8. Saturday. In doors till evening, and then through the sleet and rain [word crossed out] to the Era Office. [Thomas] Picton not there, so imbibed a glass of ale with Atwood, left and to Duane Street and Holts [168 Duane St.]. Found Mr [Henry] Hart, Dillon [Mapother], Smith O’Brien, [Thomas] Fogarty and others seated not round a stove but a cheerful fire in a grate, a recent innovation. Sate in converse with them and [William] Martin who shortly afterwards came in, and after an half-

Rights: NoC-US


Dates: 1851-03-06

Type(s): Diary

Maker/Creator: Gunn, Thomas Butler, 1826-1903

Subjects: Postal service


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