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Thomas Butler Gunn Diaries: Volume 6, page 39, August 3, 1853

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Identifier: DX04066247

Title: Thomas Butler Gunn Diaries: Volume 6, page 39, August 3, 1853

Description: Comments on Lotty Whytal's unhappy and willful nature.

After all How much of this girl’s [Charlotte Kidder Whytal’s] errors are to be ascribed to want of home-feelings? She never had a mother [Rebecca Kidder], — and if a father [William Kidder], a weak man, a debauchee. How much is she to be blamed for wrecking her life after this wretched moment? I know not. One thing is certain, she gives herself credit as she may, she don’t feel anything very deeply. Hurt vanity or pleased self-love, that’s all. When she sobbed in my room, and spake of the degradation of being the wife of a man she neither loved or respected, she only meant she was very angry with him at that time. She might, did the wilful current run that way “be ready to eat him up,” next day. It makes me smile to think of the ass I am, when listening to her, and half giving her credit for the deep feeling with which she dupes first herself, and then those about her. I know her well enough to get at a just appreciation of it, did I think, and when I’m away from her. But then there’s the fascination of her face. There’s nought to be won of her, not friendship, respect or pleasant remembrance. Out of sight is literally out of mind with her. Besides her wilful favor is so cheaply proferred [words crossed out], that a man with brain and self respect can’t value it, when thinking soberly, away from the light of those bright dark eyes. (There’s witchery in them, and that laugh.) And even now, knowing all I do, that she loves nobody, unhappy girl! — that she loves not her child, — a damnable thing, — I yet ponder whether had some strong heart and loving nature taken her in hand, she would have repayed him for the task, by rich, deep,

Rights: NoC-US

Place:

Dates: 1853-08-03

Type(s): Diary
Page

Maker/Creator: Gunn, Thomas Butler, 1826-1903

Subjects: Diaries
Marriage
Women

Permalink:
http://collections.mohistory.org/resource/181690

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