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Thomas Butler Gunn Diaries: Volume 11, page 80 [newspaper clipping], 1859

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Identifier: DX03215399

Title: Thomas Butler Gunn Diaries: Volume 11, page 80 [newspaper clipping], 1859

Description: Newspaper clipping written by Fanny Fern for The New York Ledger, responding to a letter she found from Mary Rogers, criticizing her marriage with James Parton.



Since the world began, there probably never was a marriage of which somebody did not "disapprove." That somebody, and everybody, has a perfect right to an opinion on such a subject, nobody doubts. But how far you prove your greater love for "Tom," by whispering round "confidentially" your fore-ordained determination not to believe that "that woman" can ever make him happy, is a question. Poor fellow! and she of all people in the world; the very last woman you would have selected; which of course is sure to get to Tom's wife's ears, and produce a fine foundation for belief in the reality of your regard for him, and your good nature generally.

Now as there were seldom, or never, two parties bound together in any relation of life, whether as business partners, pastor and people, teacher and pupil, master and subordinate, mistress and maid, who always moved along with perfect unanimity, it is hardly to be expected that the marriage of "Tom" and his wife will effect a total revolution for the better in human nature, any more than did your own marriage. Perhaps even Tom and his wife, though loving each other very much, may have a difference of opinion on some subject; but what is that to you? They don't need your guardianship or supervision in the matter. It is very curious that those persons who clamor most loudly when "Tom" marries without their consent and approbation, are, ten to one, those who have themselves married clandestinely, or otherwise offended against the rigid rule which they would apply in his particular case.

Broad philanthropists! Tom can surely be happy in no way but theirs. They love him so much better than "that woman" possibly can. Poor "Tom!" He looked so poorly last time they saw him. Her fault, of course. They knew it would be just so. Didn't they say so from the first? Poor Tom! such a sacrifice. It is unaccountable how he can like her. For the matter of that, they never will believe he does, (and they might add, he sha'n’t if we can help it.) And so, when they see him, they inquire with a churchyard air, "Is he well?" "Is anything the matter?" "Ah, you needn't tell us; we know how it is; poor Tom—we know you try to bear up under it. Come and see us. We will love you. You never will find us changed."

No. That’s the worst of it! No hope of their changing. Bless their souls. How lucky “Tom” has somebody to tell him what a “sacrifice he has made,” or he never would find it out! Well, it is astonishing that such people don’t see that this is the last way to convince any person with common sense, that they are better qualified to be installed guardians of “Tom’s” happiness than “that woman.”


Rights: NoC-US


Dates: 1859

Type(s): Diary

Maker/Creator: Fern, Fanny, 1811-1872

Subjects: Authors
Women authors


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