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Thomas Butler Gunn Diaries: Volume 7, page 176, November 20-30, 1855

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Identifier: DX03973016

Title: Thomas Butler Gunn Diaries: Volume 7, page 176, November 20-30, 1855

Description: Describes his unstable state of mind.

Transcription:

me to share his [Jesse Haney’s] room, but the very act of making him my confidant had relieved me, and I felt no fear of returning to my room [at 290 Broadway]. The morrow was Thanksgiving day, icily cold, but sunny. I had resolved to attempt no work till I had recovered. The closed shops and half sabbath like stillness soothed me, though the burning, nervous, brain-sensation continued. I fed a little more liberally than wont, (for hitherto I’ve lived poorly) at Gosling’s, and the coffee had a singularly stimulating effect on me. And then, going to the Picayune Office, I helped Haney a little, proof reading &c. And at 1 1/2 turned out, and unwilling to be left alone, on such a day, went to [Matthew] Whitelaws [204 Spring St.]. The afternoon passed drearily, for Whitelaw went to sleep in his chair, and I sat looking at the sunlight through the closed blinds, and feeling imprisoned, — thinking the whilst of the many genial home-gatherings there must have been all around, and of Chacombe. Turning out when the last beams of the sun reddened the house tops, I with Whitelaw took looked in at the empty [132] Bleecker basement, and then walked up Broadway awhile. It was deathly cold. Parting, I went to Edwards [at 745 Broadway], and there had a happy evening. [James] Parton & Haney were, of course, there. With the girls and children we played Blind Man’s bluff, Hunt the Slipper and all sorts of gambols. I felt more grateful to these kindly people than I could have told them, for never had I been more lonely at heart than of late.

And since then, though low-spirited, and not well in health, I’ve got oer the dread of being insane.

Rights: NoC-US

Place:

Dates: 1855-11-30

Type(s): Diary
Page

Maker/Creator: Gunn, Thomas Butler, 1826-1903

Subjects: Thanksgiving Day
Holidays
Diaries
Mental illness

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http://collections.mohistory.org/resource/180866

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